Fears and Such

I'm a worrier. I worry about things when I don't have something to think about. I worry about people's reactions to me, I worry about my grades, I worry about not worrying about my grades, I worry about eating too much, I worry about not eating enough, and I especially worry about things that are far beyond my control. These general worries make me a mess when I'm left to my own devices. This is why I never stop working on things. I either have to be reading or writing, planning or building, cleaning or messing up. If I ever stop moving, I get an unpleasant feeling in the pit of my stomach. These things stretch over to almost everything I do, and sometimes I just want to admit what silliness I tend to worry about:

• If I do not do the dishes, they might rebel after gaining their independence.
• (If I do the dishes too often they will become overworked, lethargic, and generally useless.)

• If I don't do well in school, I won't graduate and everyone I know will pity me and hate me.
• (Doing too well means that people tend to think I'm intelligent.)

• Reading outside might draw the ire of the local Rocs that will swoop down and carry me away before I can write my last will and testament.
• (Reading inside will anger the Gnomes.)

• Local law enforcement confiscating my computer after learning about the stash of highly valuable Very Large Primes located on my external hard drive.
• (Actually having them requires figuring out how to generate them using a Raspberry Pi.)

• The God of Stoplights (an ancient deity long forgotten and re-situated during the 1930's New Gods Act in response to the rise of technology in the new world) might cancel our agreement about yellow lights.
• (Also that I might remember what I signed away in that agreement.)

• Thursday might actually be Friday at one point, and that we only have 6 days in the week from now on.
• (Not to mention the implications on the length of the year and the extreme haste to the heat death of the universe.)

• That perhaps one day there will be no more potato chips.
• (And no twice baked potatoes either...)

• Japanese Giant Hornets. 

There. Those are the things that I worry about on a constant basis. Trust me, it's a terrible existence that you want no part of. Also, rocs are a protected species in Michigan. Who would have guessed?

Like Fireflies in Overdrive

It's been an emotionally charged week for me. Lot of roommate troubles and people not knowing what it means to have your name on something. But to prevent an entire post about whining: the lights are back on. No matter what emotional filth I had to deal with or philosophical discussions I had to get into with my labmates (talk of the formation of a guild of hit men was brought up, but I had to quell the idea,) the lights ARE back on.

Everything in the end will get better. No matter what tabs need to be paid, who needs to be picked up off the floor, and how many times "Yes, we have to go, the bar closes at two." needs to be said, everyone gets home at the end of the night (usually.) Sometimes you end up sleeping on life's metaphorical couch (or her real one) and sometimes life needs to be dragged into the taxi cab and you need to fumblingly ask her address again. In the end, through all the mud and swill of life's bar crawl and the pain of the next morning, we're still alive and still able to take on what ever else comes our way.

On the bright side, the freezer is defrosted.

Summertime Blues

It's that point in the year that I realize that all this summer has been spent, and that there is little left to do but wait for the final school year to start. It's downright depressing to say the least, but I am bound and determined to enjoy and capitalize on this remaining sun.

There are a few things I was working on before I got so terribly and depressingly sidetracked. There are diving trips that need plans, plots that have yet to be sketched, and relationships that have yet to be consoled. All in all I'm surprised that I can't see what else there is to do around here. But then again, am I so opposed for the school year to start up again?

I guess I'll know soon enough.

Well, more on things later. Take care.

The Fall of the Pawn

I just finished my poster presentation yesterday, and I found that preparation actually leads to confidence in these sorts of things. Not a whole lot of people came up to ask me about my poster, but mostly people I already knew decided to drop by. The judge (there's a judge for these things?) came by at the same time my boss did, so I was quaking in my boots the entire time I gave the presentation. I got the scores later that day by email (again, where do these things come from?) and got remarkably good marks, all 4s & 5s (out of 5...)

In the end they are suppose to declare winners in each section, something I didn't know about before hand. My goal is, if I win I'll be surprised and flattered, and if not then I will take it as no real loss. I'm not sure what exactly winning might get me other than a pat on the back... but that's good too.

On more entertaining note, the Dark Knight Rises was excellent and a good finish to the trilogy. Bane was a wonderfully well spoken brute, and the other villains were perfectly suited to their roles. The only problem I had with the movie was how long the timeline was, but it is a far better criticism than the alternative. As my good friend that reviews comics said, "I knew the ending, but Nolan had me doubting.", and what a good thing to doubt. Uncertainty is one of the best tools in creating dramatic suspense. It's one reason why the Game of Thrones is so popular: the main characters die, and we can't predict it. Realistic uncertainty is not something normal in movies, but it is something that needs to be taken into consideration when writing them, and all other narrative. The Batman series was founded on a realistic look at the mythos, and they certainly did not falter when making Dark Knight Rises.

Otherwise, I'm going to hanker back down and work on the GRE, because grad school and stuff. Also means not a whole lot of new writing from me, but hey that happens.

Otherwise, may it be raining where you are.

Thursday == Friday

It's been a rough few days, but I just sent my poster to the head of my lab and we'll see how much of it he decides needs to be changed. Either way, I'm done with it for the moment and that means a quick break. It's kind of sad that I really want to spend my day off by cleaning up, but I need the set cleared before I begin my super secret project (aka I will not be able to focus with the tower of empty beer cans my roommates left for me in our living room.)

Other than that, I'm super excited to go see Dark Knight Rises tonight with a few friends. I'll probably post my opinions on it, but when it comes to movies I'm fairly easy to please. (Explosions, Fight Scenes and awesome Special Effects all score disproportionately high points with me.)

I'm fairly exhausted and I the construction that is going on in the other apartments is keeping me up in the mornings, but all of that can be forgiven if the girls across the hall get a washing machine. Actually, I'd put up with quite a bit more to have access to a semi-private washing machine. I wouldn't go full Dexter for it, but I'd consider it for a few seconds.

Other than my pining for access to a washing machine... there isn't much else to say. I'm going to play dota2 and sleep a little bit before the movie. I'll let you guys know how it is, but I think I already said that...

Check you later guys




Here is a glimpse of the construction I have to deal with. I wish it would stop so I can just flirt and bribe my way to a washing machine...

Tan Lines and Thunderstrikes

It's good to be back in the states once again. I know that it's meant to be a good experience to go on vacation, but it's the quiet space after a seven day family party that really hits home. (Though, making food is a huge bummer after being able to gorge for a solid week.)

Finishing up my poster and buying food, and other things like that. Also got my first batch of rejection letters, which means that I'm a real writer now. Count is only up to 2 and I'm still waiting on another, but it's a start. The entire cruise I was writing down every little idea that came into my head, and the dreams. I've been told that dream journals are really good source for inspiration. I've got quite the list of incomprehensible ideas, but there are a few gems in there. I'm not so sure I'm going to write a story based on
"Hyper dimensional savior of the world who ends up selling midget smut teaming up with a dwarfed woodcut artist to reset time,"
but who knows, that might just be a good idea at some later point. Feel free to steal that if you think you can make it work. Though 
"Man(Murderer) has tea party, nothing extraordinary happens"
might be a fun side project. Either way, I've got a good idea for what I'm writing during the August NaNoWriMo. Have yet to win one of them, though many attempts, and we'll see if I can do it this time.

Got a new big project that I'm looking at collaborating on, but that's only in planning right now. I'll let you guys know when that goes live, and perhaps sneak peaks will be in order. All of that will be in the future though. Also, just a final word: the first issue of Scifia Magazine is up, both in paperback and in electronic versions. I've read though it and was very entertained and impressed by the talent that fills its pages. I'd recommend it, bias as I may be.

So long folks and I'll see you later!



Picture of Carnival Legend, the boat I was on. It was very large.

Explosions and Posters

Hey there everyone

It's been a few days and I've been diligently working on my poster for the Summer Undergraduate Research Fair (SURF), and by working diligently I mean putting in 20 minutes of effort and then panicking for 40 about how much more work I need to put into it. This is normal for me, so I think that means that it is going quite well so far. The tentative title of the presentation is "Oh Lord Why Didn't I Start This Sooner and Is There Some Reason Why I Am Putting Myself Through This?", but I think that it will change shortly before the first editing phases. (Also as note, Powerpoint sucks at making diagrams.)

I've gotten a few more drafts written and I'm in the process of not editing anything ever again, ever. That'll probably pass once I've gone on the trip and am settling down into working again. I've been on a Defense of the Ancients 2 kick for the past few days, so whenever I get down to editing I realize that I really just want to play Death Prophet/Tidehunter and kill things. But that's just my current binge as far as games go.

Heading out on Friday to the lovely Summer Peninsula known as Florida (as opposed to the recently balmy Frozen Peninsula known as Michigan.) I'll be gone for an indeterminate period of time as I bask in the warmth of the unholy equatorial sun. Probably pics, definitively a sun tan. We'll see how much fun I'll be able to fit in during the vacation.

I'll be sure to have a full summary of the awesome diving and everything.

(On another note, it appears that someone--probably drunkenly--left a traffic cone in my porchish area. I'll let him squat there for now, but I'm going to watch him closely. Boy do I love living in a college town.)